The Consolations of Philosophy - cont

A broken heart - Schopenhauer

The philosopher might have offered unflattering explanations of why we fall in love, but there was consolation for rejection - the consolation of knowing that our pain is normal.
What is more, we are not inherently unlovable. There is no need to hate ourselves. One day we will come across someone who can find us wonderful and who will feel exceptionally natural and open with us (because our chin and their chin make a desirable combination from the will-to-life's point of view)

We should in time learn to forgive our rejectors. The break0up was not their choice. In every clumsy attempt by one person to inform another that they need more space or time, that they are reluctant to commit or are afraid of intimacy, the rejector is striving to intellectualize an essentially unconscious negative verdict formulated by the will-to-life.

If they were seduced away by people less intelligent that we are, we should not condemn for shallowness. We should remember, as Schopenhauer explains, that: What is looked for in marriage is not intellectual entertainment, but the procreation of children.

We should draw a consolation from the thought that a lack of love: between a man and a woman is the announcement that what they might produce would only be a badly organized, unhappy being, wanting in harmony in itself. We might have been happy with our beloved, but nature was not - a greater reason to surrender our grip on love.

We must, between periods of digging in the dark, endeavour always to transform our tears into knowledge.


Difficulties - Nietzsche's answer

What if pleasure and displeasure were so tired together that whoever wanted to have as much as possible of one must also have as much as possible of the other...you have the choice: either as little displeasure as possible, painlessness in brief...or as much displeasure as possible as the price for the growth of an abundance of subtle pleasures and joys that have rarely been relished yet? If you decide for the former and desire to diminish and lower the level of human pain, you also have to diminish and lower the level of their capacity for joy.

夜

這個夜，夜涼如水。

睡不著。

即使我們看著同一個月亮，我們的心情也是不一樣的，心都變得不同。

我確實要向自己坦白，我確實在想你，我的五臟，我的六腑，都讓我心裏明白這種感覺，沒有間斷地敲打著我的心底，清楚得令自己也覺有一點委曲。

我想你。

然而我知道一直以為在你懷抱裏的人再不是我，心揪著痛，一直都痛。

我只是在這邊一廂情願地懷念你。

傻傻的。

是誰可以給我理智，把這些殘念都攆走，因為時間一久，也再沒有甚麼意思了。

留不著。

其實，我在這裏的夢話是說:

忘了，還是，忘不了。

小時候

傳統婚宴的"小時候"環節不可或缺，讓嘉賓細味二人相戀到同偕到老的經過的環節就我看來就最能吸引賓客的注意力，以及令他們一笑/眼淚。

我們作為座上客，實在希望 (八卦) 看到:

1. 一對新人在小時候的胖嘟嘟嬰兒照


2. 一本正經或羞怯的証件相


3. 初中時候的標準身形得以在運動場上一顯身手，並在頒獎台上揚威。


4. 畢業禮的你們排在一行擺出勝利手勢，眼神堅定到令人相信你們前途一定光明如斯。


5. 及後二人在自助餐的桌面上狼吞虎嚥，以及因此看出面形/身形都明顯地發福。


6. 以致到二人旅行，兩個身體貼得緊緊的，面上還留著尚未融化的雪花。


7. 婚紗照，出場了。郎才女貌，十分登對。四目交投，眼裏的濃情蜜意都告訴大家二人愛得不可分割，甜蜜滿瀉，如在面前。

還有一些情況是一對新人還會把在過門、註冊片段都剪輯成精華片段安排在小時候後播放，我都會感到很感動。真的，從過門時的整妝待發，到換好裙掛，戴上龍鳳手鐲以致向長輩敬茶及後到註冊署，兄弟姊妹在門外的起哄，拍掌，到忍著淚兒說宣讀誓詞，感動得沒有話說。他們都會說一些交往經過，如何甘苦與共也不離不棄，有些時候，我指有些時候，一對新人的熱淚盈眶都能輕易觸動我的神經，感動到深處。我甚至會忽發奇想，打算給一對新人一個擁抱，那是一個含蓄的祝福。

那些發自內心的祝福說話我從來不會吝嗇，真心希望你們幸福，相愛到白頭。

沒有人教我們如何相愛，相愛的路既漫長又遙遠，沿途的荊棘要用心去面對，謹守愛的承諾，才能有相愛到白頭的福氣。

《走過死蔭的樹下》

http://www.cp1897.com.hk/product_info.php?BookId=9789881725042

二零零八年八月二十七日下午，十九歲少女莊頌賢（小貓）首次踏足赤柱大街。突然，一棵百年刺桐倒下，轟然一聲，大樹倒下，把她壓至當場吐血，結束了小貓短暫卻精彩的人生。歇斯底里的胞姐（貓醫生），迎來血流披臉的妹妹，一顆心碎了。此後，一家人如墜死蔭之幽谷。貓醫生的世界，由那一刻而永遠改變。身為精神科醫生的她，卻不為悲哀傷所壓倒，以筆桿療傷，叫小貓復活。「如果可以救回你，要我到地府一千次一萬次我也要拉你回來……往後的路，也不容易走，但我還是會走得絢爛，給你看見，讓你引以為傲。」姊妹情深，天地動容。

---

嫂嫂借給我的書，一天不夠就看完了。最難過的莫過於身為醫生的姐姐親自迎接傷重失救的妹妹，人間悲劇。

軀體離開人世，可幸的是精神意念長存。

身為醫生的姐姐勇敢地咁事情經過一一寫下，想必也經過那些沉鬱而又苦痛的時光。

因此，文字都動人至深。

每讀之，淚下之。

The Consolations of Philosophy

"The Consolations of Philosophy: - Alain de Botton

"A fine introduction to the world of philosophy" - Newsweek

The book covers a total of 6 areas as below:

1. Unpopularity
2. Not Having Enough Money
3. Frustration
4. Inadequacy
5. A Broken Heart
6. Difficulties

Unpopularity - Socrates's answer:

The Philosopher offered us a way out of two powerful delusions: that we should always or never listen to the dictates of public opinion. To follow his example, we will best be rewared if we strive instead to listen always to the dictates of reason.

Not Having Enough Money - Epicurus's response -

Happiness may be difficult to attain. The obstacles are not primarily financial.

Frustration - Seneca's response

Anger - We must reconcile ourselves to the necessary imperfectibility of existence.

Shock - Because we are injured most by what we do not expect, and because we must expect everything ("There is nothing which Forture does not dare'), we must, proposed Seneca, hold the possibility of disaster in mind at all times.

Sense of injustice - But we cannot always explain our destiny by referring to our moral worth; we may be cursed and blessed without justice behind either. Not everything which happens to us occurs with reference to something about us.

Anxiety - To calm us down in noisy streets, we should trust that those making a noise know nothing of us. We should place a fireguard between the noise outside and an internal sense of deserving punishment. We should not import into scenarios where they don't belong pessimistic interpretations of others' motives. Thereafter, noise will never be pleasant, but it will not have to make us furious.

We may be powerless to alter certain events, but we remain free to choose our attitude towards them, and it is in our spontaneous acceptance of necessity that we find our distinctive freedom.

Inadequacy - Montaigne's answer

Many things that i would not care to tell any individual man i tell to the public, and for knowledge of my most secret thoughts, i refer my most loyal friends to a bookseller's stall.

八十後製作：公投收皮﹗[高清版]

超有誠意。



五一六公投，爭取自己的權利，明天一起去。

去旅行是否還要買手信?

我有幾個朋友去旅行都會買手信的。

在我的心中，每次我浪遊異國，我都會想起在香港的朋友，一些在那段時間和我的生活很貼近的人。我會買手信，買手信給我的朋友。

如是者，我去旅行也會想起他。也給他買一點甚麼，他去了旅行也買了我些甚麼給我，彷彿我們之間有了一個手信的約定。

他自旅行歸來，心想那會是一個鎖匙扣嗎? 那我可不要了。

他說預留一些好東西。

他帶來了桂花茶以及檀香扇。

有心就好。

桂花糕我喜歡吃，桂花茶相信也好喝吧。

檀香扇，聽起來很老套，但把扇揚開，也不失典雅。

下一次去旅行我必會想起你。

***

謝謝你。

***

最近你忙多了，公私兩忙吧?
你淡淡地笑了一下。
祝福你，你人這麼好，一定，一定找到所愛。

***



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以後我想找你的時候會減少了吧，你準會是那種重色輕友的人。

請以行動告訴我你不是這種人吧。

手信的約定。

記著。

***